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Imola's avatar

Dear Kern. Thank you for sharing! When I get an agent and a publisher, I’ll remember this worry, but for now I have to worry about getting an agent in the first place :) I guess what this teaches me is that the worry to live up to our own expectations never goes away. A big hug to you

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Kern Carter's avatar

It really never does! I can't wait for you to be writing books, Imola. I will read every one.

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Imola's avatar

You are super sweet to say this Kern! Thank you for this encouragement.

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Jeanne Malmgren's avatar

In addition to writing, I'm a psychotherapist ... and often in my sessions with clients the idea of impostor syndrome comes up. I see it manifesting most commonly with people in two categories: helping professions and artists/creatives. People whose hearts are dedicated to their work. And that's what I heard in your video, Kern ... how deeply your heart is engaged in your writing. Thank you for your authenticity. I don't mean to impose that concept on what you shared, and maybe impostor syndrome is too strong a label. I only want to validate that you care so deeply about your work, and that's a beautiful thing. 💜

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Kern Carter's avatar

No imposition at all, Jeanne. What you said totally resonates. Interesting that artists and helping professions feel this the most.

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Nikita Andester's avatar

Thank you! I just watched the video - so wonderfully vulnerable, like Phyllis said below. Recently I had the experience of seeming further along than I felt I was; I went to WorldCon and got to talk on a panel, and several folks I viewed as peers said that I seemed way ahead of them in the writing game. It made me feel super anxious, you're totally right! Like I had to keep performing or the jig would be up at any time.

Thanks for sharing :).

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Kern Carter's avatar

Yes! Performance is such a perfect word. Thank you for understanding and for your note.

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Ashley Evans's avatar

thank-you for sharing this. This shows your strength and heart. It is so human and we ALL experience this. I think these vulnerabilities - and the feeling of not matching the image or idea that we have of who we should be - is the human experience. I was just journalling about this feeling in myself this morning! I concluded that I needed to by mindful when I get into this place of results or ideas of what a fully formed version of myself looks like...The idea that in order to be whole, I need "to be" this way I envision. I need to put X amount of work into these things before I can be whole! Etc. etc. That is perfection. Perfection is paralysis. I asked myself: What is the truth? What is the truth of where I am? How can I live that truth in all of it’s halves. And non formed versions of myself. That is who I am and not my idea of what I should be. I think it's great you emailed your publisher and shined light on that shame! thank for sharing. It's right in line with something I was feeling into.

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Kern Carter's avatar

"What is the truth." That line is soooo real. Thank you.

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Phyllis Unterschuetz's avatar

I so admire your vulnerability. This is how truly authentic human beings relate to their community.

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Kern Carter's avatar

Thanks Phyllis. I was so anxious about posting this so it helps to hear you say that.

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Phyllis Unterschuetz's avatar

Our culture tells us vulnerability is a sign of weakness, but many of us know it's a sign of strength and courage. Those who are willing to model that kind of honest behavior are contributing to cultural evolution.

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Michael Strickland's avatar

I don't think I could say it better than Phyllis. Vulnerability is courageous, admirable, and needed. Thank you for yours.

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Caroline Donahue's avatar

Sending big hugs your way! Thank you for sharing this with us. 💗💗💗

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