Sometimes writing through the grief IS dealing with it. And pieces like this are actually processing it healthily. I've got a grief piece publishing tomorrow that took 5 years to be ready to write. Sometimes it takes what it takes, and one thing is really another.
I enjoyed your piece on the gray shirt and grief, Toby Neal. I can relate to this with my own mother-in-law. Thanks for sharing your heart. (Commenting here because I can't comment on yours unless I am a paid subscriber.)
I'm sorry for your loss, Kern. This is a lovely reflection--"The world might not change but I can" is a powerful reflection. Thank you for offering it to all of us.
"But the sun rose the next day" gosh this line hit so hard because I can relate.
My mum passed away 20 years ago this May and that's exactly how I felt. Life is happening all around but within myself it has stopped, it is suspended until I can breathe again and be able to live without her.
Now that my grief is behind (or is it really ?) I actually find this line comforting. No matter what, the sun rises. There are days where you won't see it but you know when you are ready, it'll be there, waiting for you.
I loved this piece so much. I love how there is no answer to the questions on whether or not you've taken the "right" approach. Sometimes in life there are only questions. I would go as far to say there are more questions than there are answers. Death is one of those things that can give us momentum or can completely stall us and though you may not have the answer just yet, I feel that by not allowing the momentum to stop you've done the right thing. Wishing you much healing as you process all the emotions.
Thank you, Cymone. There really is no right answer and you're right, I'm still figuring things out as I go, but continuing to write feels the most healing so I'm going with that. At least for now.
I needed to read this, and it came across my screen right after I wrote and published my take on my grief and writing. I'm so sorry about your grandmother passing. Grandmas are everything.
I’m so sorry Kern for your loss. I lost my grandmother not long ago and she was a huge part of my life. I’m glad you’ve stopped. It’s okay to sit with the grief. It’s okay to write through grief too, if it helps. It often helps me… but the most important thing is that you listen to what YOU need and not to what you think might be expected of you. I’m sure people will understand. Grief doesn’t escape any of us. Unfortunately. Big hug.
So sorry on the loss of your grandmother. What a beautiful reflection on how life is not black or white but somehow we have to live in the middle.
Shades of grey 😪
Sometimes writing through the grief IS dealing with it. And pieces like this are actually processing it healthily. I've got a grief piece publishing tomorrow that took 5 years to be ready to write. Sometimes it takes what it takes, and one thing is really another.
Love this, Toby. Sometimes it does take what it takes. Thanks for that! Share your piece with me when you publish.
Ok, here ya go!
https://open.substack.com/pub/tobyneal/p/the-gray-shirt?r=azzp8&utm_medium=ios
I enjoyed your piece on the gray shirt and grief, Toby Neal. I can relate to this with my own mother-in-law. Thanks for sharing your heart. (Commenting here because I can't comment on yours unless I am a paid subscriber.)
Mahalos for letting me know!
I'm sorry for your loss, Kern. This is a lovely reflection--"The world might not change but I can" is a powerful reflection. Thank you for offering it to all of us.
Thanks, Kim :)
❤️
"But the sun rose the next day" gosh this line hit so hard because I can relate.
My mum passed away 20 years ago this May and that's exactly how I felt. Life is happening all around but within myself it has stopped, it is suspended until I can breathe again and be able to live without her.
Now that my grief is behind (or is it really ?) I actually find this line comforting. No matter what, the sun rises. There are days where you won't see it but you know when you are ready, it'll be there, waiting for you.
Sorry for your loss.
I loved this piece so much. I love how there is no answer to the questions on whether or not you've taken the "right" approach. Sometimes in life there are only questions. I would go as far to say there are more questions than there are answers. Death is one of those things that can give us momentum or can completely stall us and though you may not have the answer just yet, I feel that by not allowing the momentum to stop you've done the right thing. Wishing you much healing as you process all the emotions.
Thank you, Cymone. There really is no right answer and you're right, I'm still figuring things out as I go, but continuing to write feels the most healing so I'm going with that. At least for now.
Sending you much love, Kern 💜 grief comes in waves. It's best that you are examining what is most sustainable for *you.*
Yup, that sustainability part is crucial!
I needed to read this, and it came across my screen right after I wrote and published my take on my grief and writing. I'm so sorry about your grandmother passing. Grandmas are everything.
They are, and glad you read this when you needed to!
I’m so sorry Kern for your loss. I lost my grandmother not long ago and she was a huge part of my life. I’m glad you’ve stopped. It’s okay to sit with the grief. It’s okay to write through grief too, if it helps. It often helps me… but the most important thing is that you listen to what YOU need and not to what you think might be expected of you. I’m sure people will understand. Grief doesn’t escape any of us. Unfortunately. Big hug.
I am listening, Imola. Thank you. I enjoy your hugs ❤️
I'm very sorry for your loss, Kern.
Beautiful reflection on grief . I’ve had my share of it . Sorry for your loss .
Thank you Kern . I’ve been away from Substack . I found I was getting too distracted from my everyday life .
Hits us all, doesn't it
I’m sorry for your loss Kern. “The world might not change but I can.” is inspiring.
I tell myself this all the time.
So sorry for the loss of your grandmother. May her memory always be for a blessing. 🙏❤️
Thank you Zee.