On my birthday

I'M STILL WRITING

I guess yesterday was my birthday. I also guess I just entered the 40 club. I’m still processing what that means for me.

When I was growing up, I thought that surely I’d make it to the NBA. This meant I would’ve retired three years ago and finally started writing those books I was so keen on in high school and college.

A baby in high school and an injury to my groin thwarted those plans. Life forced me to start writing Thoughts of a Fractured Soul, my first novel, and begin my career as an author. Things could’ve been so different.

It’s been about twenty years since I started writing books. The things I’m most proud of are that I’m still writing and that I’ve made progress. Both are equally important. If I was still writing but hadn’t advanced any closer to my goals, I’d be disappointed in myself. Maybe I wouldn’t still be writing. But to see how close I’ve reached to my goal of touching millions of readers with my words has inspired new stories and fueled me to keep going.

I think progress is the missing piece to any recipe for creative success. People tell you to chase your dreams, they say be consistent and persistent and don’t let anything get in your way. That’s great advice, but if you don’t feel yourself progressing closer to your goals, to your dreams, it becomes harder to find the energy to keep going.

Yet I’m still writing.

I’m still writing because I’m still learning. I’m intentional about learning because it’s one sure way to make sure I see some kind of progress. And as a writer, it’s the only means of progress that I can control. I can’t control how many people buy my books. I can’t control how many people subscribe to my newsletters or read my articles. I can affect those things, but can’t control them. I can control if and how I get better.

That’s why I’m still writing.

That’s why I’m so grateful that people subscribe to this newsletter and read words that were thoughts in my mind. That’s why I’m thankful for readers telling me how much they love or enjoy my novels. It feels like a privilege to be where I am today, and none of that would be possible without people like you.

Ten days ago, I was in a stadium with tens of thousands of other fans watching Jill Scott put on a show (one of the best live shows I’ve seen in my life). I stood there almost motionless and in awe of how she commanded the stage. Scott expressed her gratitude to the crowd for allowing her to do what she loves for over twenty five years.

In Scott’s moment of reflection, I saw myself. I understood why that gratitude almost brought her to tears. She’s still performing. Just like I’m still writing.

I closed my eyes for just a second and imagined what it felt like to be exactly where I wanted to be. When I opened my eyes, I knew all I had to do was keep going.