Am I writing for me?
AND ARE YOU WRITING FOR YOU?
In his bestselling book The Creative Act, music producer, Rick Rubin, says that the only person who needs to like what you’re making is you. I had a bit of trouble with that statement, until I understood exactly why he said it.
Rick Rubin doesn’t play any instruments. He doesn’t sing or rap. He’s not a musical engineer who controls the levels when an artist is recording. Rick Rubin has become one of the most celebrated and accomplished producers in history because of one thing: his taste.
That’s it. He sits in rooms with different musicians, creates a positive environment, and tells them if he thinks what they produce sounds good. If it doesn’t, he makes suggestions on how it can sound better. It’s all about what he likes. This is how he has built his career.
As an ambitious author, you can see how this puts me at a bit of an impasse. I want to touch the world with my words, with all of my stories. I want millions of readers to get lost in my novels. How do I accomplish that writing for myself?
Control. Control and creativity. That’s the answer.
I’ve said several times that Boys and Girls Screaming was the first time I wrote with an audience in mind. I knew who the book was for and that helped me make sharp creative decisions.
But when I reflect on that process, I think about the eight or nine rounds of editing that story went through. I think about how many times I wrote, then rewrote, then deleted and rewrote pieces of that story over and over again. I wasn’t trying to please anybody but myself in those moments. I wanted it to be as close to perfect as possible, not for the reader, but for myself.
And what I’m realizing now is that the thing I have the most control over is whether or not I like what I’ve written. There are a thousand factors that go into how well a book is received by readers or how many readers are exposed to the book. The only one of those factors that is completely in my control is my opinion of my own writing.
Ugh, but I want to be the best. I say it all the time, right? And we’re writers. We’re artists. The validation of our work is what gives it value. If no one likes it, or is willing to read it or spend money on it, what is it really worth?
This is the internal dialogue that can stifle my creativity. This ping pong of thoughts is like the beginning of self-sabotage. It can take me to a place of “No one cares about what I’m writing,” or “I’ll never accomplish my goals” and keep my mind tied up like a hostage. And because so much of writing is psychological, the impact on my creativity, on my emotions, on the outcome, is powerful.
I stop and ask myself again: who am I really writing for?
Popular culture says if I write a story about being Black, I’m more likely to be heard in this current “woke” climate. I see what’s happening. I study all the six and seven figure deals being signed by new authors. I read the titles and synopsis and am tempted to steer in that direction. Maybe if I write a book about that, I’ll finally achieve my dreams.
Or maybe I should write a book about mental health. That’s like the super zeitgeist, right? If I can tap into that audience, I’ll give myself a better chance to touch the millions of readers I dream of every time my fingers glide across this keyboard.
Would I still be writing for myself, though? Does it really matter? If millions of people read a story I wrote but didn’t feel connected to, am I successful?
Where I finally settle is that the only things that matter are the things that matter to me. There’s an author out there right now who is only writing books they think will sell and they’re doing just fine. The themes and subject matter are something they’re interested in but not passionate about. The stories they write don’t come from the heart, but they’re selling enough books to make a living and that’s all they care about. We shouldn’t criticize these writers, we should applaud them.
But that’s not me.
The words I write need to fill my soul. The stories I tell need to stimulate my imagination. I need to love it before anyone else even sees it. All of those things matter to me just as much as commercial success. I want to do it my way.
So yes, I am writing for myself. I’m telling the stories that excite me. And at the very same time, I will do my best to assert control over how my stories get exposed to the most readers possible.
Jay-Z said that when he’s creating music, nothing else matters. He’s just trying to create the best song. But once the body of work is complete, he’s using that same imagination and that same creativity to market his music to the masses.
I said that control is why you should only write for yourself. But what if you controlled more of the process? What if you poured the same imagination into exposing your writing to readers as you did in writing the thing in the first place? What if you thought through the partnerships and platforms that would give your story enough exposure to cultivate an audience?
Now you have more control over the outcome.
The most popular artists in the world — musicians, visual artists, etc. — also tend to be the best at getting people to pay attention. They understand that creating is one part of the process and the more control they exert over what happens after the creation, the better chance they have of getting more people to pay attention.
Beyonce and Taylor Swift aren’t selling out stadiums only because they are great musicians. They (and by they, I also mean their teams) are great at getting people to pay attention to what they’re doing. More importantly, they are willing to be great at getting people’s attention.
So I ask one more time: am I writing for me? Are you writing for you? And are you willing to do more than just write to reach the outcome you desire? Those are the superstar questions you need to answer.